2019 Target 500
The 2019 Target 500 is a Willy's Cup race taking place at the Target Raceway. Transcript (As the racers qualify for the race, Phineas and Ferb get their car ready for the race. The car is revealed to be the 2008 Juan Pablo Montoya Havoline/Texaco Dodge Charger, but with the Team Phineas logo on some parts of him) Candance: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are going to race! Mom: Wow! You're going to be in the Target 500? Cool! Ruff Ruffman: Racers, the race will begin shortly! To the pits, quickly! (Isabella gets the fireside girls pit crew as the racers and drivers are at the pits) Red (Angry Birds): Is everyone ready? Crowd: Yes we are! Red: Louder! Crowd: YES WE ARE! Red: Alright let's do it! Racers! Start your engines! (The racers rev their engines/start engines of cars) Mark SetGo: Okay! Racers! On your marks! Get set! Follow the pace car! (The drivers follow the pace car. Later, the green flag waves.) Ruff Ruffman: And the Target 500 is underway! BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY! LET'S GO RACING YA BUNCH OF HOT DOGS! (Then on Lap 250) Kaitlyn Pink: Hey Darington. This has to be a normal race. Nothing has to happen. (Suddenly, the 1996 Fox Interactive "CGI Ball" logo and some other scary logos appear) Fox Interactive "CGI Ball": With the Fritter? Viacom V of Doom: Bruh, no way! (Then the logos chase the racers in multiple wagons.) Blaze: Look, the wagon's velocity is 5. So to escape, we need our velocity to be more than 5. Screen Gems S from Hell: Looks like your battery is running at 3 percent! Hahaha! Blaze: Hmm...is 3 more than 5? No! That's not fast enough! We need more velocity! Doofenshmirtz: The Willy's Cup is all mine! Mine, mine, mine! (fires the laser of the engine-blaster inator at Kaitlyn Pink, who slips out of control.) Ryder: There's smoke from the number 10 car of Kaitlyn Pink! Francine Carruthers: Oh no! Ruff Ruffman: It's Kaitlyn Pink, the famous Bone-Us Points racer. And he slips into the Target store shelves! The GameBoy Color is involved, and so is Pickle, Turbo, and Hamsterbus! PS2: How about we speed up to 7? Blaze: Let's see, is 7 more than 5? Yes! Let's make our velocity 7! PS2: Yeee-doggy! He won't slam us today! GameCube: Watch out! Sega Dreamcast: There's a police car out there! Police Car: Protect and swerve! Blaze: The police car's velocity is 8, so we'd better speed up before they catch us! Nintendo 64: I have a great idea! We'll be Hakuna Matata when we reach 10! Blaze: Which one is more? 10 or 8? GameCube: It's 10, ya stupid! I am a math teacher here! Blaze: 10, right! Let's speed up to 10! Nintendo DSi: Phew-wee! No evil logo someone could catch us now. GameCube: Oh my god! The 1996 Fox Interactive logo's wagon is the fastest and it's dangerous! Blaze: Hubcaps! The wagon's velocity is 20! Ryder: I don't know what's happening, Ruff! Fox Interactive: (laughs evilly) Bluz: The racers are 19 miles from their Top 20! Blaze: Hey, wait... is 19 more than 20? No! We're going to have to speed up more than that! Nintendo 64: Oh nooooooooo! (blows an engine, spins around and crashes into Sega Genesis, who screams as well as N64) Ryder: Oh my goodness! A terrible and Titanic-sized crash behind the evil logo's wagons! (Kaitlyn Pink, Crusher, Pickle, and Nintendo 64 Screaming and Crashing) Kaitlyn Pink: (skidding to a terrible stop) Uh, guys? (Gets hit by PS1 and they scream) Pickle: Huh? Uh oh. (Nintendo Switch crashes into him, causing Pickle to scream as well as Nintendo Switch.) Nintendo Switch: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJ: Blaze, what if we go at a velocity of 28? Blaze: Let's see, is 28 more than 20? It is? Yeah! 28 will make our velocity more than the Fox Interactive logo. (Blaze speeds up to escape the Fox Interactive logo's fast wagon.) Fox Interactive Logo: Oh shoot! Blaze: Haha! Take that, fool! (dodging the crash, which the evil logos and Willy's Cup racers both crashed.) Ryder: Look, Francine. Blaze is in the wreckage. Francine Carruthers: There's no way the racers can make it through! The GameCube and PS2 dodged the crash, but I don't think Blaze can make it through. Not in one piece that is! (Blaze dodges the last few cars and jumps onto and launches off the tires, which the BND Mask's wagon was not breaking, Blaze boosts right through the cloud and jumps onto the racetrack while Mark SetGo waves a yellow flag.) Ruff Ruffman: Did you see that? Blaze made it through again! Francine Carruthers: Woo-hoo, a spectacular move by Race Car Blaze, who has dodged the crash. Ruff Ruffman: Caution. Blaze: We've done it! Ryder: As everyone else heads into the pits, Blaze stays out to take the lead. DSi (inside his car while it's getting towed by the tow truck): Don't take me out, my car can still race! Fox Interactive (inside his wagon while it is getting taken away by the security tow truck): Ow, my foot! Ugh! Evil Logos: Ow, that hurts!/I had no idea why you were slamming me in the foot!/You just loosened my hands!/I don't feel so good-(barfs)/We're gonna get cleaned up already! Ryder: Tons of debris on the race track. The GameBoy Color's car is smoking badly and it's on fire as well! And now Mark SetGo is waving the red flag because of how deadly this giant wreck is, as it is one of the biggest crashes in Willy's Cup history. (Mark SetGo waves the red flag) Bluz: And the race has been stopped. (Then, the red flag stops waving and Mark waves the yellow again. During the caution pace laps, the fireside girls bring the Team Phineas car in for a pit stop, and then the car re-enters the race, and then the caution ends as the green flag waves, continuing the race.) Ryder: Okay, green flag back in the air! (On lap 379, PS2 enters the pits) PS2: Time for a pit stop, everyone! I will save the tires that my pitties have for later. (PS2 exits the pits) PS2 Wide Pitty: Looks like the PS2 wants gas-n-go! (On the 500th and final lap of the race, the evil three (Bradford Five, Nyan Storm, and Crusher) are almost to the finish line) Blaze: Bradford, Nyan, and Crusher are going down! Blazing speed! (Blaze gets his Blazing Speed booster) Blaze and A.J.: Leeeet's Blaaaaaaaaaaze! (Blaze uses Blazing Speed to go fastest of all races yet. Perry fights Doofenshmirtz, causing the button on the engine-blaster to get hit, shooting at Bradford’s tires, causing Crusher’s engine to get blown as well as Nyan Storm, who slips out with Crusher.) Ruff Ruffman: Blaze is coming up fast as they enter turn three! The Team Phineas #42 car is rounding turn four! But no! Blaze will win the Target 500! The #42 is 2nd. The PS2 is 3rd. The GameCube is 4th. And the rest goes 5th to 20th. (Later on, during the Triumph Tally) GameCube: Well, let me tell you guys about it. The Videogame Racing Center is a racing center for newer consoles by any company to enter the Willy's Cup. It was founded by me recently in 2017 thanks to the inspiration of the Rust-Eze Racing Center. Our latest employee was the Nintendo Switch Lite. (Suddenly, the Fiesta Trio play their fanfare with Roy Rooster and his animal-scaring trumpet to surprise PS2 and GameCube.) PS2: Oh my god! Am I deaf? GameCube: You are not deaf! But something is happening! Let's go! Ruff Ruffman: Ladies, gentlemen, gentlecars, pit crew, crew chiefs, reporters of RSN and other networks, and racing fans all around the world! If the Target 500 has no choice whatsoever, is that all the points a dog can give? Racing Fans (honking their horns/flashing their lights): No! Pit Crew and Crew Chiefs: Never! PS2 (in his 2000 Ford Taurus): Let's show them what I and the GameCube have got! (PS2 in his Taurus and GameCube in his 2001 Chevy Monte Carlo fire the engines of their racecars, do burnouts, and jump onto the winners' stage inside the cars.) PS2 and GameCube: WAA-HOOO! (The text above the winners' stage reads "BONE-US POINTS!" instead of the Target 500 logo, which consists of the Target bullet logo with a big red 500 in front of that.) Ruff Ruffman: What time is it, everybody? Crowd: BONE-US POINTS! Ruff Ruffman: I can't hear you! Crowd: BONE-US POINTS!!!!! (We Will Rock You by Queen plays while the rest of the racers/drivers walk or drive onto the winners' stage) Ruff Ruffman: Today’s 10 Bone-Us points go to the racer who determines that each race held between every racer will be held every day and one week, and with 500 points, Blaze and some other racers are daily Willy's Cup winners! (Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz, who has landed the blimp, steals the Team Phineas car, and the police chase after it. The police officers fight Doofenshmirtz in the car wash, while a car washing cylinder launches Doofenshmirtz far away) Doofenshmirtz: AAAAGH!!!!!!!!!